They Said I’m Funny

“I’m off to find a job”. This is what she said to me before walking out. I don’t actually think that’s how you are supposed to start blog posts, but my other attempts have not worked. Then she told me that I should just write a quote and start from there.  This is the first post, on my first blog. So what you are really witnessing is my blogging virginity being lost. It’s not very pleasant.. I think I might be getting blog raped..

So it turned out that I’m funny, and I don’t know what that means or what I should do about it. Still don’t really know how to start this post so I think I’m going to do like a story and then if this ever becomes a low budget TV show, it can begin with the camera zooming in as a narrator introduces me and what I’m doing.

I live in university halls. Imagine packing a group of teenagers into a flat and expecting them to survive. This is what halls is like. I spent last weekend either drunk or high, sometimes both. My friend basically moved into my room and I’ve not actually cleaned it since September. Sometimes I walk in with a vacuum cleaner and just sort of stand there with it turned on. However I’ve not had the chance to actually move it yet. I’m always out of time or I just don’t want to. It all comes down to the fact that I’m a bit of a lazy fuck. Anyway, I have friends. There are at least 5 and a half. 6 on a good day. And the friends were over at our flat for most of the weekend. We had an indoor BBQ and everything.

At some point, my flatmate, the one that I was quoting looking for a job, said that she would watch a show consisting of just me trying to cope with life. I gave her my “I don’t know if I agree with you about watching a show about me” look, but she didn’t get the message. Either that, or I actually didn’t give her that look. Sometimes I think really heavily about doing something, then I don’t do it, but I think that I did it. It’s a problem sometimes. To my surprise everyone in the room agreed with her. And here we are.

I’m sitting here, in the kitchen of the flat, trying to start the first post and I don’t even know how to. To make things worse she’s sitting there looking over every 30 seconds to make sure that I’m still writing. She told me that I need to make sure that I don’t write a shit blog. #nopreassure. Now I have like 6 drafts for the first post. This one is so far the longest. Still don’t know how to start so I’ll probably just end it here…

Don’t really know how to end it either.. Um “Kind Regards”? “Thank You for Your time”?

Maybe a plain “fuck off”. Or like “Like, follow, subscribe!”

I don’t know. Fuck it

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