RSI Is A Conspiracy

No post yesterday! I know, panic. You must have been in shock. “I just don’t know what to do with myself?”. “Where is my life going?”. “What do I do with this 30 minutes of free time?”. So many questions going through your head. Scary, isn’t it? How much you rely on this blog. Well today is a good day because there is another post right here. Some of you may be expecting an apology, but that’s not how this works. I’m a busy man, got shit to do and places to be. I don’t owe you anything..

Hopefully you enjoyed the last post. Not sure what I was trying to convey in my half concious state, but I know that I had a lot of fun writing it. Possibly more than you had reading it. Looking back at it now, I think it’s quite inspirational and everything. I could put a link to it here, but I’m a lazy fuck and don’t really care about SEO or any of that stuff. So if you want to read it, just scroll down. Humans are good at that.. (reference to the post before that).

This post is being written from my actual computer, not my laptop. That’s right, computer blogging virginity being lost right here and now. This is the part where I reveal that not only am I lazy. I’m also cheap. When I got this computer a few years ago, it had no keyboard. So I went and bought one in Tesco for about £5. It’s a clunky piece of junk. It resembles one of those they had in the 80s. Got to really commit to every letter otherwise it won’t detect it. It’s also very loud. Makes those classic “Whloop” sounds when you type. It’s horrible. Got sore wrists and everything.

This makes you think. Did people in the 80s have stronger wrists from using these less sensitive keyboards? I think yes. They also had RSI, but no pain no gain. About that..

You always see posters in offices and computer labs that say “Ooooh, watch out for the RSI. Sore wrists!”. Has anyone actually got it? I’ve not heard of a single case in my life. It’s like a massive myth around computers. Obviously it’s a conspiracy. I blame North Korea.. They want all the people who spend way too much time around computers to feel like they are living their life on the edge. It helps the North Korean economy.

Imagine a cliché computer scientist. Short legs and arms. No neck. Nigh zoom glasses, black creased trousers and an unbuttoned shirt with no tie. They are sitting there programming away. When they begin to struggle with existential questions, they just look at the conveniently placed RSI posters around the lab. All of a sudden they think they are participating in extreme sports.

You can imagine their voice as they say “fuk yeh” and type away on the next Windows update. It would be a very nasal voice.. Anyway moving on.

Nah not moving on. Remember the guy from the first Jurassic Park. The one who was hacking and doing all the computer stuff. That’s who I’m imagining right now.. Now we can move on.

The reason for no post yesterday is because I sat a Maths exam and I was also not in the mood. If you are a dedicated reader (more than 4 days) you will know that I had a Maths exam. Thanks to the friend who moves in, I’m pretty sure I’ve aced it which means that I am almost just 4 years away from being an Engineering and getting my £30K a year. Not a concern right now. This blog will make me millions. Pretty sure I’ll never work as an engineer anyway, might just sort of walk around my house instead.

The other problem was that I was not in the mood. You see, someone very close to me had a car accident and I was a bit stressed out because of that. The content would not have been on point like it usually is. They are fine luckily, so I can write again. This brings about a very interesting thought. I can only really update this blog when I’m feeling cheerful. So if I read about genocide or animal testing or ISIS bombings. I will not be able to post and then you all, will have to just survive on your own I guess.. Would be a boring life without this blog in it..


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