The Reality Can’t Even…

Today we are going to question reality. I’ve been living in this reality for 18 years and I think there is something very shifty going on with time. First of all, a year is not 365 days long. The exact amount of time that the earth takes to orbit around the sun is 365.256 days. That is why we get all the weird stuff going on with February… It’s an attempt to compensate for this lost 0.256 of a day. Another example of reality being questionable is the existence of seedless grapes…

How the fuck do you plant seedless grapes if there are no seeds!? Is anyone else struggling with the practicality of this? This is precisely why people no longer go outside as much as they used to. How can I go outside if I know that there are grapes being sold in shops? Grapes that could not have been planted yet ended up growing anyway.. Only a matter of time before this madness translates directly into human sex. How long before people become pregnant without needing to have sex? I give it 12 years before these things start to appear on the news. It will be presented by a casual blond lady speaking in a soft, patronising voice: “Hey! You know how there are seedless grapes? Well turns out that they couldn’t exist. But they do. This is why people are now getting pregnant without sex.”

This is a problem people! Time to wake up. How do you grow seedless grapes?! They don’t have seeds!

This goes on you see. There are theories about what the human was made for. Some people say that we have evolved for long distance running. Some people say that we have evolved for climbing. Well today, I will show you the real issue with all this. Look down on your feet. I am assuming that, by now, you have learnt to read this blog barefoot. It is the best way to read. Helps with concentration. Look down on your bare feet. Now I want you to really concentrate and look closely at them.. Do you see hooves? Do you see paws? Do you see another set of hands, like a monkey? If you answered yes to any of these, please return this device to the human you stole it from… This is the problem. Animals good at long distance running tend to have hooves like horses or zebras. Animals that have evolved for short distance running, tend to have paws (lions, panthers, hyenas) and animals that have evolved for climbing tend to have hand-like things so they can grab branches.

 

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flickr photo by Carine06 https://flickr.com/photos/43555660@N00/23818842165 shared under a Creative Commons (BY-SA) license

 

We have feet. Clumsy lumps that have little finger-like things at their ends. In fact the foot resembles a flipper. This must be the truth! You are actually made for swimming because you have “flippers”. People don’t know this, but they should. Look at a mirror now. Now try to tell me that what you see does not resemble a dolphin or a seal… You can’t, because in reality we look the exact same as seals and dolphins. Why has no one pointed this out before… Yet again, the reality is shocking! We are really sea animals but think it’s cool to live on land.

I have no choice, but to conclude that most officially accepted ideas, must be false. Primarily that the earth is round. This is not true. There is no evidence? When was the last time you sailed around the earth huh? You are being mislead. I know what the earth looks like. In reality its a lot of little spheres. Each continent is a little planet and we use planes to get in between them. Don’t believe in any of this “water” “ocean” nonsense. That’s more of a social construct than anything else…

Please feel free to suggest any other flaws in our reality. Subscribe to this blog and the social media pages for more thoughts like this..

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