Yes people! This topic is awesome! Today we are talking about a Stroll. Strolling is the art of walking with no purpose at all and it is probably the reason for all crime in the world! Evil people stroll all the time! Hopefully you are as buzzing for talking about slow walking as I am.
So when do we stroll? We stroll when we have nothing to do. If you have a lot of time on your hands, you probably stroll quite often. The principle is simple. You must find a place full of busy people who are in a hurry. A train station or a popular road. Now the aim is to walk slowly like you have no place to be. Because if you are strolling then you most certainly have no place to be. So just walk slowly and pretend to enjoy the setting you are in. I guarantee you’ll annoy at least 9/10 people that pass you! This is why strolling is so evil.
I’ve always had a place to be. My life is a set of procedures which are chained together very closely and happen in different places. The only time I walk is when I need to change location. I don’t walk for the sake of walking. I don’t stroll. I walk fast and I walk with purpose. Perhaps you know someone who also lives like that. Maybe you know me, but don’t know that I’m writing this blog…
There is nothing as horrible as a slow walker… except for Hitler, Sambuca and a few other things. Slow walkers are most annoying when the passage is narrow and there is no space to navigate. They are the reason why shit just doesn’t get done in my life. That’s not true, my lazy attitude is the reason for that, but slow walkers definitely contribute.
Naturally no body likes a moaner. And since I am currently moaning about people who enjoy their walks. I must offer a solution. Yes, there has to be a solution for this… Strollers will be sent to different planets from now on. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a problem with slow walkers (Yeah I clearly do..). I just think that their walking addictions will be much more enjoyed on other planets. We know all about the earth.. We know where everything is.. Do you know what we don’t know? We don’t know where everything is on Pluto. This is where we need the strollers to go. The strollers in their infinite time and satisfaction of life, will now go to Pluto. The problem with commuting to Pluto is solved also.. They can just stroll to it.
The job of a stroller on Pluto will be to.. well.. stroll. They will just walk around and remember where everything is. Then they will stroll back to the earth and tell us where everything is. Sorted!
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