The Perfect Career For Your Money

Going along the topic of money. The last post covered some great methods of saving it. Today I want to discuss how money changes value. Have you ever noticed that you don’t really mind spending £20 on booze, but when a friend asks you to go out for a £6 meal you get all “I’m too poor” suddenly. There is a reason for this. Money changes value all the time.

Sure there are inflations and deflations in the economy. But really? Who are we kidding? None of that is true.. It’s obviously a North Korean plot to make us all scared of the inflation.. No such thing as inflations or anything like that… Besides, jet fuel can’t melt steel beams. Here is what really happens:

Money is a smart little fuck. It knows what it’s meant to be spent on.. It has a little mind of its own. Just like you, it has goals and ambitions. A £5 note will have a certain goal. It might, for example, want to be spent on alcohol, or to be spent on a meal deal. It would be unfair to not honour these requests.. After all, for a £5 note, this is something along the lines of a career.

If you don’t spend money on what it wants to be spent, you will ruin it’s career and lets be serious. We all care about money. Even though the money rarely speaks, it can communicate with you. It does this by changing value.

Have you noticed how £5 in a casino is nothing, but in a supermarket you don’t want to spend £2 on a box of mushrooms. This is an example of money speaking to you. The £5 note will purposefully make itself more valuable in places where it does not want to be spent.

How does the money know what it wants? Well it’s quite simple really. All money is made by the authorities. Well, not all, but a fair amount. Before the authorities release the money into the market, they put it through a good state education. Money is taught to read and write. It applies for university for a course that it thinks it will be good at. Money orientated university courses include “being rolled up”, “blowing in the wind” or even “being crumpled up”. Each piece of money knows it’s value and it knows what it could be spent on. The government funded “department of career advice” provides 1 to 1 meetings with money, where each note is able to converse with a note which has been in the market for at least 2 years. The newly printed note is able to ask for career advice and what is the best thing to be spent on. That’s how your money knows what it wants.

So now you know how long your money had to wait in education before it would get a chance to be spent. Can you really sleep at night if you don’t spend your money on what it wants to be spent on? How cruel can you be?

This is why from now on, this blog will actively support traumatised money. I will be providing therapy for all the banknotes which are not happy with what they have been spent on.. If you support this cause please follow the blog and social media pages. Additionally, if you come across any traumatised money, please be sure to send it my way…

I believe that the topic of money has now been fully covered. Committed readers will have become millionaires by now..

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