Have you got a phone case? The world is split between those who do and those who don’t. These 2 cults fight in underground arenas. The fights happen every full moon. If you want to get involved, find your local arena and start turning up.
People don’t know this, but the book and film “Fight Club” was based on phone case fights. Today we analyse the available cases and what they mean:
- Heavy-duty Classic. I fit in this category. These are chunky, rugged phone cases. Usually made out of hard rubber, metal or carbon fibre. When you see a heavy-duty case user, you are dealing with someone who is either a very active person or they are not active at all but want to be. Heavy duty case owners feel like they are superior to everyone else. They tend to have a decent amount of knowledge about phones. Protecting the phone is the last thing they think about. They just think it looks cool…
- Shiny The “shiny” cases are all the pretty ones. Don’t have to be shiny, but people who have these cases tend to be attracted to shiny things. They love Apple devices. For them, it is not the specs that matter. It is the aesthetics. “This laptop is faster because it looks pretty”.
- Funky I hate that word. Makes me think of people wearing old clothes and having a lot of hair. They shake too. Funky things are always shaking. Funky cases are the special ones. They might have movable bits. Maybe they make your phone have ears. Maybe they have googly eyes. People with these cases think they are playful. They also like cats.
- High tech. These are the “splash-outers”. This group has money and they are not afraid to use it. Usually, their phone case is worth more than your phone, and their phone is worth more than your house. An example is those cases that have an extra battery. Or cases with solar panels in them. I don’t know if those exist. When/If they do, they will be bought by the splash-outers. Their phone has a 100% chance of being better than yours. They have the newest of phones and pay attention to the market. You want to be friends with these people so they buy you stuff.
- No phone case This is a common category. The “plainers” have no interest in phone cases. They likely don’t really care about the phone. Either that or they simply don’t get the hype.
Your phone case you have defines who you are. People think it’s their character or achievements. Lies! You are defined by your case. Eric Roth said:
For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be.
Eric had it from the start. He could change who he was, whenever he wanted. So can you! Find a phone case that fits one of the above categories to change the way you look, act and feel. Many of those corner phone shops, with blinking signs saying “Cheap phones!”, offer a free service that changes the friends you have to match your new case. There is nothing worse than being friends with someone who does not have the same type of case as you. Seriously, you are better off with Gonorrhoea. It’s just not cool…
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flickr photo by CalypsoCrystal https://flickr.com/photos/calypsocrystal/5750209544 shared under a Creative Commons (BY-ND) license
flickr photo by CalypsoCrystal https://flickr.com/photos/calypsocrystal/5749663459 shared under a Creative Commons (BY-ND) license