Zoolander 2 And The Experience. And The Clickbait

There are not many films so dumb that they become enjoyable to watch. Zoolander 2 has done the impossible. It is more idiotic than the original! Zoolander 2 represents a whole new category of film. The name of this category can only be “So dumb you actually have to stop thinking”. I have been late to watch it but I got it done now.

Actually, this post is being written in advance so I will have probably forgotten about this by the time you read it. Anyway.. Zoolander 2, like all other newish films, is watchable on Putlocker. It’s not, strictly speaking, breaking the law, but it is supporting someone who is. The ethics are questionable, just like Donald Trump’s ideas. The film industry is not making as much money due to me watching stuff online.

Before you get all angsty on me and tell me that I’m killing the film industry, you’ll have to swallow the fact that the highest grossing films in the history have been released in the last 10 years. This means that they all became the highest grossing during a time when piracy was around and going strong. The film industry is at a stage where it can consider getting pregnant with octuplets because it can definitely afford it! Moving on…

There is something special about the Putlocker experience. First, you close all the exciting pop-ups which demonstrate how there are many beautiful Russian women and single mums in need of sex. This is where the experience begins. You see I am not reviewing the film. That would be too mainstream. I am reviewing the experience…

Once the pop-ups are closed… Yes, even the ones that appear after the initial ones.. you get to see Putlocker in all its beauty. The tiny player area surrounded by clickbait. It is the click bait that I always find the most exciting! What headline I will see today?!

“Man makes £200 in 20 minutes!”

“The fans were shocked when they saw this video of Ariana!”

“Your girlfriend won’t be seeing much of you when you start playing this game!”

The list goes on. There is so much click bait everywhere! It gets worse, I’ve seen a few of the click-bait posts on other websites too. A few blogs also! The only conclusion is that people must be clicking on this shit. Either that or someone out there has a serious addiction to making up false headlines. They probably watch a lot of porn too; judging by some of the titles. I don’t mean the odd accidental click when the mouse goes missing. If these things are starting to appear everywhere they must be getting clicked on a lot. Notice how “a lot” is underlined for emphasis, bet you weren’t expecting that!

clickbait-2
Is that Taylor Swift? What facts about TS?! I need to know this!

I’m curious if I put some click bait on this blog, how many people would click. Not too many I hope. I like to think that I have a smart audience (this is the part where you get flattered and subscribe..). But maybe this is not about intelligence. Maybe people have a tendency to click on stuff like this and I’m one of the few with an immunity. A clickbait immune mutant. It is possible that when I was born I was clickbait vaccinated… Maybe my real purpose on the planet is to save you all from click bait. If I fail, humanity will perish while trying to find out what exactly the rich are hiding from us…

Just in case my ramblings are correct and you are clicking on these… They are always false, the whole idea of click bait it to get you to click. The click then takes you to more click bait and somehow someone somewhere makes a profit. It’s a bit like those people who can buy apples for £5, sell for £4 and somehow be £1 ahead at the end… Good luck!

Images:

flickr photo by Miguel Angel Aranda (Viper) https://flickr.com/photos/viipeer/24933887776 shared under a Creative Commons (PD) license

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