Stop Ironing Clothes Or The Aliens Will Kill Us

Do you wear a shirt around? Maybe you wear some sort of smart trousers? Do you ever feel like your outfit doesn’t quite look right? Maybe you just want it to look better than it already does. Here is an idea! Try creasing parts of it with a heated up piece of metal…

I guarantee it will look better. Use the hot metal to smooth bits of the clothes out while creasing other bits! You will not regret spending 20 minutes of your life on this task. You will definitely not have wasted those 20 minutes considering that you are about to put a jacket on that will crease the shirt… Additionally, you are about to sit in your car which will crease the trousers. Well worth it!

That is me trying to sell the idea of ironing clothes. This is something that I have been doing now and then for the last few years. I never understood why.

Sometime, somewhere, someone said that clothes look better smoothed out. This is feel is a little fishy because I see a certain charm in creased clothes. It has that rough sort of look, especially with the sleeves rolled up. But no! That sort of outfit is not appropriate outside! It is not how you should dress for a formal occasion! It looks “scruffy”! On a formal occasion, there can be no creases.

For some reason, we have a problem with creases. I disagree with this. I don’t believe that getting rid of mine makes me a better person. I don’t think it carries across any statement apart from “I waste time every day because everyone else does”. It’s stupid. The only reason why creases are not OK is because we all fight them. If we all stopped, we could carry around with creased shirts and trousers and nobody would mind.

There is more to this. You see some creases are OK. Like the creases that go down the trouser leg. Those are fine. We can leave those on. In fact, we should purposefully crease those in with the hot metal.




Think about it! The whole point is a bit stupid. You are going to put the ironed clothes on. This means that no matter how hard you try, they will get creased over the duration of the day!

As humans, we represent the most intelligent species on earth! What if some alien comes down from space and starts watching the way we live. Go ahead and imagine watching people iron their clothes without having any idea about fashion or what’s “appropriate”. I would decide that if the most intelligent species on the planet is capable of moronic actions such as ironing creases, then I might as well just kill them all and take the planet for my “scruffy” species.

People of the earth! Stop ironing your clothes! We must appear at least a little bit intelligent to the aliens so that they don’t kill us. Ironing clothes is a dead giveaway of our species being a little bit moronic. Follow this blog and share this post to spread the message. This insanity ends now! I will not iron another crease from now on!


flickr photo by bazzadarambler shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license

flickr photo by Brandon Grasley shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license


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