Breakfast.. No! Lunch. No! HELP! HELP!

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day“.. This quote has always caused me a lot of anxiety. The problem lies in my sleeping. I do it a lot and generally, I wake up in the afternoon. It is at this point that I am faced with an important debate. A lot depends on it. Is my first meal of the day still breakfast, or does it become lunch because it’s consumed in the afternoon? Lives are at stake here. Entire countries and cultures will suffer if we don’t make the right choice…

Mental problems like this are often faced by people like me. People who over-think things to the point of it hurting. Lunch is a meal eaten in the afternoon. Breakfast is the first meal of the day. The system is glitched. Someone hadn’t thought this through… and by the way, I think it was the British.

Assuming that a meal cannot be more than one thing, the design of this classification system is severely flawed. You are living a lie. What we need here is some radical change to fix the mistakes made by people before us. A meal is either breakfast, lunch or dinner. Some radicals like to experiment with ideas such as “tea” and “supper”, but the point still stands. A meal can only be one of those things.

There is a reason for this. It fights starvation. People like myself, who don’t quite know when and what I should eat, need specific rules. I know that if I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, I will not starve and instead live a healthier life. All good so far. The problem starts to emerge when you allow me to combine meals. All of a sudden a single meal can be both breakfast and lunch.

 

1989719848_ea49c65b2f
Chance to save some $$$!!!

 

You know me. I like having money. 1 meal instead of 2 is cheaper. Before you know it, people like me are eating 1 meal a day because it has become breakfast, lunch and dinner. We all know where this ends. The terrible starvation problems in Africa have started because of a problem very similar to this one. How soon before Europe also joins the ranks of the hungry?

This is why someone has to sit the fuck down and figure this thing out. It won’t be me. I’m OK with saving money by combining breakfast and lunch. One of you will have to just step up and tell the others what to do. Announce your candidacy in the comments…

Share this post to spread awareness of the growing danger. We cannot afford to lose more people to hunger.

Please also make sure to follow the blog, it will greatly boost your campaign for the title of “supreme meal organiser”, the leader of the free food.

Images:

flickr photo by Xurble https://flickr.com/photos/xurble/376588066 shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license

flickr photo by jollyUK https://flickr.com/photos/jollyuk/1989719848 shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license

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