Who’s Alex?

Origin Story. My origin story? Or my haircut’s origin story? Who’s origin story? Most submissions will be about the author’s origin story. Unfortunately, I’m a pretty average human being with a pretty average origin story.. except for a few exciting events like discovering fire or inventing the pickaxe. I could write about myself, but would get absolutely trashed by people who come from less privileged backgrounds. But what about the origin of a human being? This is an interesting topic. People think they know what happened, but that’s not really true.

Currently, most western humanity is torn between evolution and creationism. Then there is a group of people somewhere in the middle who see no reason why both of those theories couldn’t be the case. Got to give it to them. Currently, the 2 theories interact a little like 2 very annoying kids fighting over a swing on a play-park. The people who believe in both are the parents who casually point out that the swing is large enough for both. That’s the current state of things.

What if I told you that there are other kids on this playground. Introducing Alex. Alex is an average kid who spends a lot of time on the playground of origin. Alex represents a whole new origin theory. Now there is a choice to make. Do we talk about the origin of humanity according to Alex’s theory or do we talk about the origin of Alex? Since, I don’t want to be drowned for blasphemy, we will just have to talk about Alex.

Notice that Alex is not a gender specific name. I’m doing this to keep the hordes of free-bleeding feminists off my back (If you don’t know what “free-bleeding” is, I am jealous). Alex’s gender will not be disclosed.

Alex walked into the park without his parents. This in itself is unusual. She doesn’t have any friends in this park, he’s just standing around and looking at the 2 kids who are fighting. What’s her origin story? Well, the truth is that Alex is not really a kid at all. He didn’t come from anywhere. She isn’t going anywhere. He is just stuck in the present. On the play park. Originally, the swing was hers, he filled it fully, because… let’s just say she’s a bit of a full-bodied kid. Unfortunately, the 2 angry kids walked in and Alex run off to play on the slide. Now the 2 kids are fighting and will continue to for a long time. This means that Alex hasn’t got the chance to get onto the swing.

So for Alex’s sake, please stop fighting over things. Not just swings, stop fighting in general. It upsets him.

Thank You.

I bet that gender alternation screwed you completely. It’s tough, but that’s the way things are going you know.. This was good practice for the future when the gender fluctuations increase.


flickr photo by VeloBusDriver https://flickr.com/photos/thelebers/3940157518 shared under a Creative Commons (BY-SA) license


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