Have you got a show? I’ve got a show. All my friends have a show. Everybody has a show! What’s yours? That’s the second best question to ask people you have just met. The first is about their wristbands. Netflix is the nemesis of all productivity and motivation. Have you got a lot of time? Find a show. Binge watch all the seasons. Then move onto the next show.
Doesn’t matter what the show is about, these things are designed to keep anyone’s attention. The masterminds behind the scenes have planned everything out. There is a tense as fuck cliffhanger at the end of each episode so you couldn’t possibly stop watching. Today, I found myself needing to pee, drink and eat. I sat in discomfort for a whole hour. I was watching a blind man, dressed in red tights, fight nonexistent crime. Why?
Why do we watch people deal with problems in our spare time. Half the time, the show is not even pleasant to watch. You don’t feel good. You feel agitated, awkward or scared. You are experiencing the feelings of the protagonist. You find yourself stressed out or worried about your favourite characters dealing with their problems. It’s easy to forget that both the characters and the problems are fake. Why are we intentionally getting more stressed and worried?
It gets better! Not really. If you are not stressed about the events in your current show, you are stressed because you cannot find out. Maybe I lived in a cave, but I’m pretty sure that 10 years ago there was Lost, Heroes, Prison Break, Friends and House. Those were the big boys. All the others just never seemed to get as much heat. Now, it’s different. Now I could list 10 shows without even needing to look at Netflix. Feels like there are more shows than films and the real struggle faced by people is deciding which show to commit to.
Something is happening here. It must be the government. They know that if they release enough shows, even your grandparents will get hooked on something.
Why do they want this? Simple! It’s all about the sewer system. Think about it! Do you ever find yourself holding your bladder and clenching your ass cheeks because Arya is about to get stabbed? I know I do. This is what the governments want. If they can prevent all of us from using the toilets, they will have more space underground for their project.
What project? Haven’t you heard? The governments of all countries are no longer interested in nukes. That’s not cool anymore. Wristbands are cool now. The more they create, the more powerful they become. That’s why everyone wears them now. Wristbands represent power.
Follow the blog and social media pages to receive a box of 400 wristbands and a baggy that will allow you do toilet stuff in your living room, in front of your family and your show.
flickr photo by theglobalpanorama https://flickr.com/photos/121483302@N02/14019907992 shared under a Creative Commons (BY-SA) license
flickr photo by luarembepe https://flickr.com/photos/m4rialu/2480337683 shared under a Creative Commons (BY-SA) license