Patience Will Land You On The Moon… Or North Korea

We like to talk about patience. Patience is a good thing. Patience is a virtue. Patience, patience, patience. It’s good if you have a lot of patience. Patience is so good! Except it’s not… is it?

Patience is the ability to wait for things. Someone with a lot of patience can handle long queues. People seem to compete about how much patience they have. It’s like a nursery show-down:

How long can you wait for something?

Hahaha! I have more patience than you!

Waiting a long time means more patience. More patience means… actually what does more patience mean? I guess it means that you are, in some way, better than the people who cannot wait… at least that’s what people seem to think…

We like to say “patience is a virtue”. It makes us feel smart and patronises the people who are frustrated about waiting. That makes us feel good. Who would miss out on a chance to make someone look like a spazz, and piss them off at the same time? It makes our day! That is until we are frustrated about waiting… All of a sudden, “time is money”.

What is so great about being able to wait for things? Why do we all want to have a lot of patience? What makes people who can handle long queues so great? If we all got furious as fuck every time we had to wait for something, the productivity of everything would shoot straight up. At the same time, customer service jobs would become more dangerous than binge watching all of the Fast & Furious movies.


Isn’t this great?! Look at all the virtues!!!


The world is following a misconception that manipulates us into trying to have more patience. It’s a conspiracy. Just like the popular belief that cats and dogs are different animals and that we went to the moon. In reality cats and dogs are both the same animal and it was them that went to the moon.

This post is all about justice. This is what we are doing today. We must find the persons who support this misconception. The punishment will be deportation to North Korea… or being sent to the moon. That way North Korea becomes a very patient country and the people on the moon have the patience to wait for the next lunar landing.

This is not just about punishment. This is also about helping people who are impatient… Since they can’t wait for things, let’s just allow them to skip queues! Unfair? Really? Do you really want to be like them? Sure you might get everything the moment you want it. But can you really handle living without such an important “virtue”?

This new queue system sounds great to me actually. Why not let people who don’t care about having a “virtue” get on with their lives. Everyone else can just stand at the side and practice their patience. After all, it is a virtue.


flickr photo by hktang shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license

flickr photo by KOREA.NET – Official page of the Republic of Korea shared under a Creative Commons (BY-SA) license


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