Are You Packing A Extra FTC?

Have I packed it all? Yes, I have. 20 hours later you assault your brain with bad language because it forgot socks. Bottom line is that no matter how much you pack, some essential item is always left behind. It’s one of those things that you have to live with, just like your spine.

The reason I’m writing this is because I’m going away. My voyage/trip will last a whole week. This means that posts will now be appearing every second day. They are already written. I realise that it’s not ideal, but you will just have to deal with it.

So since I’m leaving, I’ve packed everything… I think. I keep asking myself what I forgot. The denial kicks in and my brain says “nothing”. This denial happens on a subconscious level. I have no control over it.

This sort of thing really shows our tendency to take things for granted. Don’t need to pack a toothbrush, it’s always there. Until it isn’t.

It makes me think about all those shows with people in lab coats telling you which part of the brain is responsible for something. There must be some part of the brain that has the specific job of taking things for granted. It’s probably called “forgetting things” followed by a brain word such as “cortex”. The Forgetting Things Cortex! The lab coat people refer to it as “FTC” to seem smarter.

 

100781977_a6c464745d
FTC is the pink bit

 

Life hack: You can seem more intelligent by using abbreviations and acronyms in your sentences. That way everyone feels stupid and you feel like Einstein without the hair.

As I was saying. There is this “FTC” and it’s there to make sure that you forget to pack things. It’s there because… evolution!

Humans are very intelligent. This is because their brains have things that they have to constantly fight with. The FTC is one of those things. If we didn’t have it, life would be too easy. But what if life is already a little on the difficult side. Maybe not life as a whole? Maybe your FTC just feels a little too good at its game. It always fools you into forgetting everyday items. Socks, shoes, wallets, documents, alcohol, drugs, condoms, firearms, bombs and of course deodorant.

Well, I think my FTC is overdeveloped so I want to start a little business on here. From now on, you can have your FTC surgically removed. I’ll personally cut your head open and take a bit of the FTC out. Not enough for you to be better at packing than me, but enough to make it possible to enjoy a holiday without having to recycle underwear.

I’m not too experienced, but most medical fields will consider a treatment “low-risk” if it works in more than 19 out 20 of cases. I’m pretty sure that after a few accidental murders, and lobotomies, I will be able to be pull off a successful FTC removal. After that, it’s just a numbers game until I get that 95% effectiveness.

The treatment will be free and unofficial until I get to the 19/20 milestone. Back in primary school, I was once told that I have still hands. That means you are probably quite safe… Feel free to mail me your brain and I will mail it back after the (hopefully successful) procedure.

Follow the blog for more great offers such as this. Actually no! Don’t follow it! I’ll be too busy with my lobotomies to offer any more free treatments.

See You.

Images:

flickr photo by Richard Leonard https://flickr.com/photos/richardleonard/81675212 shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license

flickr photo by GreenFlames09 https://flickr.com/photos/greenflames09/100781977 shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license

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