The Real Food Problem…

I just finished my tea before starting this post. The tea was supposed to last the whole post. This is a common problem. I also get it with pistachios and all snacks. Actually no! I get it with everything. We have this nice image in our heads of doing something enjoyable and sipping tea or eating something throughout it. This is a lie.

I don’t know if you have ever noticed, but whatever it is that you are consuming is always gone within the first 10 minutes. I don’t know if this is because I consume things fast, or the things I watch are too long. I guess a bit of both.

Today I spent 10 minutes making foodgasmic sandwiches with hummus and olives. I then sit down in front of an episode of Daredevil. I thought the 7 sandwiches would get me past the first scene. The fact that I’m writing this example tells you that I was wrong. I ate all 7 before the first 10 minutes were over. It is simply impossible to be consuming something throughout the whole film/episode. Think about it! Even if I made 100 sandwiches, I could not sit there and eat for 60 minutes. I would explode!


Hmm… might get past the 2nd scene


This idea of eating and watching just cannot work. That’s the first problem I have with food and drink. It gets consumed too fast to accompany anything except the advert you sometimes get before YouTube videos. And I mean the ones with the “Skip Ad” button.

The second problem is very similar. Making food and drink is annoying. It’s not pleasant. Standing in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil. I swear the more you look at it, the slower it does it. Just like when you tell someone you can do something. All of a sudden, you cannot, because they are looking. The kettle gets the same problem.

A meal takes at least 30 minutes to prepare. Tea takes about 6 or 7. That is time spent in discomfort. The time spent in the comfort of consumption should cancel this out and possibly even provide some extra comfort to act as profit. What?! You thought this wasn’t about profit?

I chug down my tea before it gets cool enough to drink and I swallow my meals before anyone manages to pick up a fork. I eat a meal in less than 10 minutes. Tea goes down as fast as water. Alcohol goes down even faster. You see the problem?

I have to stand in the kitchen for 30 minutes, to enjoy something for 10, followed by another 15 of washing up. Making things is not worth it! I’m actually putting myself in more discomfort every time I prepare something. You cannot expect me to be sane.

This is why living at home with parents is so great. I get to enjoy the 10 minutes of consuming, while they worry about the 45 of horror. Don’t get me wrong, I wash the odd plate sometimes.

And here I am complaining about food and drink while 1 in 10 goes hungry… I thought I had food problems.


flickr photo by Dirigentens shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license

flickr photo by mettamatt shared under a Creative Commons (BY-SA) license


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