How To Profile Picture?

You know what confuses me? Profile pictures. It’s a great idea. Have a picture attached to every account so people can recognise you. Make sure that you are the right Mark or Henry or whatever. That was the initial idea. Now it’s 2016 (i think) and a lot has changed when it comes to social media…

Why do we make a conscious effort to pick the best-looking picture for our profile? Like common! It’s almost as if we are trying to fool someone. “Hmm, if I get a good picture on here, everyone will think I’m a hot motherfucker!”. The thing is that people who have seen you know how you look and won’t get fooled. At the same time, the people who haven’t seen you will end up disappointed or confused.

“Umm mate? How old is your profile picture?”

“It’s not that old, I’ve just gained a few kilos”

“Dude! You don’t fit in the room!”

“That’s not true! I’m not overweight! Look at my Facebook profile!”

When I went on a journey of self-discovery in Rome (aka self-intoxication) a few months ago, I saw a few locals making money by letting people take pictures sitting in a Ferrari. Oooh! What a great profile picture this will make! I’ll pretend I own a Ferrari on Facebook! Like come on! All your friends probably know you can’t afford a Ferrari, let alone drive one. Nobody is going to get fooled by a picture of a 19-year-old kid sitting in a Ferrari, wearing fake Raybands and a fanny-pouch. “Fanny-pouches” are those belts with a little pocket for storing things. Tourists are told that they are harder to steal from so they wear them everywhere.

Now there are some examples to be followed when it comes to Facebook. I have “friends” who look absolutely shit on their profile pictures. Obviously, it’s not intentional… Good looking girls coating themselves with makeup and ending up looking worse in the end. Or decent looking guys who take off their shirt and end up like one of the ads you see on websites I’m not supposed to talk about.

If this was one of those pretentious blogs that teach you to be happy with yourself I would say, “everyone looks good in one way or another”. I disagree with that. Some people look shit. That’s a fact of life. Sure, different people find different things attractive, but some people still look bad on average. Generally, there is not much you can do to fix your face. But in the end, would you rather be pretty and have people like you because of what you look like? Bottom line is that in the ideal world people wouldn’t care about what they look like. It’s a worthless, unearned and usually undeserved characteristic. Hopefully, that’s enough emotional support for everyone.

BTW I’m not exactly Ryan Gosling myself, but I honestly believe that not being pretty is a good thing in most situations. Think about it, it’s always the pretty ones that get killed off first in horror movies… followed closely by the black people. Don’t ask me why.

 

4446552668_50f9b6b3d6
Candidate for my next profile picture

 

My next profile picture won’t look good. I would rather people were pleasantly surprised to see me 😀

Images:

flickr photo by Sarah.Marshall https://flickr.com/photos/sarahmarshall/8408366593 shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license

flickr photo by ☺ Lee J Haywood https://flickr.com/photos/leehaywood/4446552668 shared under a Creative Commons (BY-SA) license

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