Your Belly Button Wants You To Party

Today, I want to address some of the difficulties faced by every human being in the world… For some reason, we think this is something that we all just have to deal with… I Disagree. Today, I will use immaculate logic and science (as per usual) to explain to you why you are sleeping wrong.

So. At some point, someone said that work will start in the morning. This made everyone think that the morning is an awake time. This is not true… Despite the common belief, the human being is not designed to function in those early hours of the day… You want evidence? Easy!

First of all, let’s talk about what time we all go to sleep. In your mind, bring up a picture of a standard Homosapien (male or female… you’re welcome ;D ). Notice the hole in the middle of their belly. This apparatus, also known as the “belly button” is one of the most complicated organs known to man… Despite the popular belief, the belly button is actually made for parties… That’s right, it’s made for parties… It is for this precise reason that many girls in their teens will wear “crop-tops” to parties… A crop-top is a weird looking shirt that leaves the belly button exposed.

Now, if our bodies have parts that are there specifically for parties, then that means that parties should be a natural part of our daily routine… Note that “party” here, is used to describe all social events where alcohol is invited.

5632109572_0c901cd0e4

It is, therefore, safe to conclude that the homo sapien should not head to bed before midnight. If the Homosapien does not head to bed before midnight, then it would be unnatural for it to wake up before about 10 pm… We have become so separated from our natural state that we couldn’t possibly say how damaged our natural day-night cycle has become… Because of this, I believe that just to be safe, the Homosapien should not wake up before 12… This guarantees a sufficient amount of sleep. Better safe than sorry.

The more ambitious among us, the ones who “push their limits”, may want to consider staying in bed until a little past 12… Possibly 1 or 2 pm.

So, if we are not supposed to get up until 12 then morning activities such as work, school or university are clearly not optimised for the natural human cycle. This is where the problem lies… People end up going to sleep early to get up in the morning. This means that they don’t have parties… Over time, this can cause some serious illnesses due to the belly button not being used correctly.

I hope this post helped to raise awareness of why you feel “like shit” in the mornings… If you know of anyone else who struggles with this problem then please share this post. We will save many lives by helping humanity go back to it’s natural, belly button driven state.

Thank You for your time.

Images:

Flickr photo by pattista https://flickr.com/photos/pattista/301653565 shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license

Flickr photo by SBSTNC https://flickr.com/photos/sbstnc/5632109572 shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license

oSiU5uLn4G – I’m connecting my blog to News-Bump!

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4 thoughts on “Your Belly Button Wants You To Party

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