Join The Door Oppression Revolution

Right people! Stop what you’re doing! Today we are changing the world. We will do this one step at a time and today is the first thing… I feel like this blog has gained enough momentum for me to start a revolution. Soon we will overthrow the governments, abolish the 5 pence plastic bag charge and make cash machines print money. It all starts here…

Before we go big, we have to start small. The first step is changing doors! That’s right! You might not know, but approximately 112% humans are under the daily oppression of doors. Not all doors. Specifically, the ones that open in only one direction…

People like me, who are only half aware of what they are doing, need doors to be simpler. These mechanisms have a lot of potential for being useful. However, usability does not have to come with complexity…

Too many times we have ended up looking out of place when we pulled a push door or pushed a pull door. Today someone even laughed at me. These accidents happen over and over again and it’s always the same door. It wastes time, it destroys self-esteem and it produces humour. The more humour people have in their lives the less they will need to come here to receive their weekly dose. This door situation must stop…

16150871677_107f1d3bfc
Behold the oppresant

It gets worse too. I tend to try and take lessons from mistakes. This is why once in a while, I will make a mental note of what direction a door goes. That way, when I see the same door again, I will know what to do. Sounds simple and effective. Right?

Well, for some fucked up reason, the doors alternate between being push and pull depending on what direction you come at them from. I don’t know who’s the twat that thought of this, but it means that I now have to remember 2 pieces of information for each door. Waste of brain memory!

The smartypants amongst you will think “It’s simple! If you see a handle, pull. If you see a panel, push”. Simple my arse! I keep finding push doors with handles and pull doors with panels. Besides, this approach blocks life fulfilment. If there is a door that can be both pushed and pulled, the people who follow the “look at the handle” rule will never know that the door goes in both directions. I, however, will. Bottom line is that I will then be more aware of my surroundings and my life will be filled with more detail… Their’s won’t. Ha!

So there you have it. There is no reason for all this door confusion. We must start a revolution! From now on, I want all readers who work in either design or building to make doors go both ways. At the same time, let’s all boycott uni-direction doors by not using them in our daily lives… With enough time, the world will change to suit the masses… That’s when we will move onto step two…

Until then, please refer to this video to help you overcome the uni-directional monsters with efficiency and ease:

Images:

flickr photo by jmmcdgll https://flickr.com/photos/jimmcd/3419845718 shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license

flickr photo by Randy McRoberts https://flickr.com/photos/rmcrob/16150871677 shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license

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