I Can Fix Shit Days

You probably get shit days sometimes… Despite this great blog being in your life, some days just cannot be helped. When it’s cold, everything is going wrong and your thoughts escape into imagining yourself as a carefree farm-animal. I could be a sheep. Living a peaceful life on some hill. I’d get fed and looked after until I died…

I know that many of you see me a bit of an inspirational figure. I can only imagine how far your obsession with me has gone. You read my blog… How long before you start trying to wear my clothes… and hair? How long before one of my millions of fans will try and crawl inside my skin and become me? I live in constant fear… I’ve side-tracked.

Even though we all know how great and perfect I am, I too, sometimes, get shitty days. This post is about them. The more obsessed readers will know that I always include some advice in my posts. The advice disclosed always consists of highly essential methods of getting through life. The aim is to reach the finish line without becoming a Trump supporter. To keep this custom going, I will tell you how I fix my shit days and so keep Trump posters of my walls.

That’s right! I fix them… I can do that… This is why you want to follow the blog and become one of the obsessed fans. If you are unaware, I will be using the fans to start a big revolution and overthrow the governments… We also plan to force-feed a bag of spinach to Ghengis Khan. And yes, he is still alive.

I had a bad day yesterday. It started bad and got progressively worse. There wasn’t really anything wrong with it. It was just shit. I don’t know why. It just was. I accidentally gave the “fuck you” look to some very innocent people. I considered dropping out of university and wondered if I could pick a fight with someone. In other words, I had a period… I know I’m a male, but many inspirational figures will tell you that you can achieve anything if you try…

I will spare you the details of my mediocre day and move straight onto the moment when I fixed it. I decided that it was a shit day. That’s always the first part. You must acknowledge that you have a problem. After that, I just pressed the skip button. I moved to Thursday…

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The button is quite secretive, but here is a picture I took with a secret camera…

It turns out that there is a skip button and it just fast-forwards everything to the next day. I pressed the button and moved onto today. I still did everything I would have done yesterday. So it’s not really a “skip” button. Despite its name. it’s more a “painlessly fast-forward” button…

So this post is being published on Thursday, but I’m actually living on Friday right now… I’m still looking for the “go back button”… Tempted to press “skip” 6 more times and just meet you guys on Thursday next week. I’m really in the mood for a Thursday right now…

Use this advice wisely, the last thing you want is to accidentally press the “loop” or “shuffle” buttons…

You can tear down the Trump posters now.

Images:

flickr photo by pavlovskyy https://flickr.com/photos/pavlovskyy/4248714819 shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license

flickr photo by Ambernectar 13 https://flickr.com/photos/ambernectar/12113792175 shared under a Creative Commons (BY-ND) license

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One thought on “I Can Fix Shit Days

  1. Found you on the blogger meetup. We are 2 of the blogs featured on the #likefollowshare challenge. Come with me a Like Follow Share all the others that are featured with us! By the way enjoyed your ABOUT page, yes funny in a dry sort of way but funny none the less. Don’t be alarmed our blogs are totally different!

    Liked by 1 person

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