Open Your Mind With Words

Thank you for reading my blog. My self-esteem gets mildly stimulated every time someone comments, likes or follows me. It stays stimulated for a few hours before falling back down… Don’t worry, this is not one of those “Thank you” posts. If you have stuck around for long enough, you will know that I am an ungrateful fuck. This means you will not see a post dedicated entirely to me being thankful until… *scratches head*. Instead of rambling on about how much you reading my blog has changed my life, I will, instead, give something back… Today, I’m going to expand your mind a little.

So, in case you think you are witnessing a selfless act. I assure you that myself and all other human beings will benefit from this… Now you know there is no catch…

Here it goes… As a society we are limited… We have joined words together and we cannot separate them apart… This is a big problem with English. Some scientists will tell you that if this was resolved earlier on, the shooting of Harambee could have been avoided. This problem is also considered the main cause of the middle eastern conflicts and the assassinations of Franz Ferdinand and Abraham Lincoln…

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Why have we not fixed this sooner?!

You might be thinking “What’s so wrong with English?!” The problem lies in blindsight. What if I want to express that I am free on Saturday, during the afternoon, evening and over the night? I have to say “I’m free on Saturday afternoon, evening and night”. If you look really closely, Saturday already has “day” in it. This is the problem… It’s a waste of time saying Saturday night. It sounds stupid… From now on, just say Saturnight. Saturmorning. Saturevening. If you really think hard you will notice that all other weekdays can follow the same format…

Instead of sounding like a complete weirdo saying “Saturday night” you can now sound like a completely normal human being by saying “Saturnight”. Problem solved…

Apart from sounding better, you are also saving letters. Saturday night is at least 3 letters longer than Saturnight.

What if everyone has a limited amount of characters they can use before they die? What if that is the case? The more you speak the faster you die… People could have different amounts of words. The more talkative ones would get more, while the less talkative ones would get less…

Now if you want some evidence of how great this thing is. I can tell you that I have used this for about a week now. I’m writing this post on Tuesmorning and started using this method of giving time last week on Monnight. This completes the first 7-day cycle and I can tell you that my life has changed so much!

I am much more productive, I no longer get spots, my digestion is much more powerful and best of all, I am never cold. I also became rich and famous and people around me always want to touch me and ask me for life advice…

It just works.

Images:

flickr photo by jwyg https://flickr.com/photos/jwyg/3745559121 shared under a Creative Commons (BY-SA) license

flickr photo by Brandon Grasley https://flickr.com/photos/brandongrasley/8227882239 shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license

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