You Have Made Me Japanese.

Well. That’s it. I’ve been blogging for a few months and I’ve decided it’s not for me. So this is the last post and then I’m off to spend hours of my time watching YouTube videos and dreaming about how great it would be to have a blog… Just fucking. I’m still here and today is the day when it all pays off. That’s right!

I’ve been dragging you along through my weird brain and it’s about time I gave something back… I have around 100 active readers. So I could do a giveaway or something like that… But I’m greedy so that’s not happening.

I could give away a free ebook, but despite what you might think, I’m actually illiterate. The posts are written by a little underpaid Polish boy. I just sit on the side while the child writes some shit… Don’t get mad, I know most bloggers do this also. I could get the child to write a book, but then I’d have to pay it more…

So instead, I have decided to improve myself. That way you will feel like reading this has caused a positive change. You never know. It might yield more positive changes and that’s what we’re all about here. Positive changes are what we are all about here.

Introducing myself! I’m pretty much the same person, but I’m better now. I drink green tea!

For those who don’t know, green tea is literally the motherfucker of all teas. It sounds and looks innocent, but really it’s changed the world in so many ways. It’s the only beverage that can cure every illness in the world. With extended exposure, it’s the only thing that can trully make you become Japaneese. Everybody wants to be Japanese and after just 4 weeks of drinking green tea, the passport arrives in the mail…

Believe it or not, these green tea drinkers are actually African-American

Knowing how great green tea is, I went ahead and bought 2 boxes. 1 was for £2, but there was a 2 for £3 deal. That means you can save £1 by spending £1 extra… Don’t ask me how it works, but I think I earned money… I now wish to give you a few tips on how to drink green tea.

Don’t use sugar. If you put sugar in green tea, you stop being “a man” so don’t do it. Unless genderfluid is the life for you… This is why I don’t use sugar… That’s a lie. I’m lazy. I like sweet tea, but I can’t be bothered to buy sugar and I don’t like spending money…

Reuse the tea bag. Most people don’t know this, but after you brew a cup of tea, the same tea bag can be used over and over again. In fact, the way I drink tea is I leave the teabag in and refill the cup until I realise that I’m just drinking warm water… My current record is 4 refills…

Sadly that’s all I have for now. It’s only been a few days and I’m not even half Japaneese yet. However, I have started to understand some of their language which is think is a sign of the transformation starting to happen.

Thank You. You started this change.


flickr photo by Fu-ya shared under a Creative Commons (BY-SA) license

flickr photo by RageZ shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license


2 thoughts on “You Have Made Me Japanese.

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