Somebody Is Fucking My Toothbrush

This is something that has been a problem for me for a very long time. I would greatly appreciate your support as I share this, very serious and life damaging issue. Thank You for your acceptance…

Toothbrushing has been covered here before. I recommend you check out this post. I think it’s a bit of an underdog. It didn’t receive the attention it deserved… Go and make things right over there and then come back here and make them even righter.

The gaging has been covered and yes, I still suffer from this… There is something else. Something much more serious, even deadly.

I live in a flat with other people. We share a bathroom, but we do not share toothbrushes… I always have a pretty good idea of which toothbrush is whos.

However, I can’t help, but notice one very specific thing. It’s the fact that my toothbrush always looks like someone tried to shred it… The bristles are always bent out of shape and the middle has a massive trench in it. This happens to everyone over time, but it happens to me after about 3 weeks of a getting a brush… It’s too fast.

Now I know what you’ll all say. The reason for this is because I brush too hard. I see your point, but this is not true. In fact I am a bit of a perfect human specimen and I simply do not make mistakes like that… No. The reason is more scary… I believe I am getting framed. It is clear that somebody frequently walks into the bathroom and starts fucking with my brush (hopefully not literally).

 

Crime Scene
I have sinced launched a full scale investigation

 

I have tried to locate this offender and reveal them to the world, however the problem is not that simple. See this bristle problem occurs no matter where I go… Family, holiday, flat it’s everywhere!

The conclusion is only that this criminal follows me about. We are talking about a skilled ninja who moves like a cat and has enough strengh and energy to fuck up any toothbrush I get…

The possible persons responsible for this can only be almongst the following:

I crossed out the suspects that are deceased so it can’t be them… unless…

Images:

“Toothbrush explosion” flickr photo by suthernsir https://flickr.com/photos/suthernsir/253075679 shared under a Creative Commons (BY-SA) license

“Crime Scene” flickr photo by Alan Cleaver https://flickr.com/photos/alancleaver/4121423119 shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license

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