Be A Tree

It’s been a little while. I would excuse my lack of content generation because due to the fact that I’ve been busy. Secretly though, my reasons are simply that I’ve given up on the world and I’ve decided to become a tree. Once one becomes a tree everything is simple. There is no worrying about politics or Trump there is no Brexit or ISIS. You only worry about global warming. Though I guess if you are a tree, you are already doing everything you can to help. Thank You.

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Somebody Is Fucking My Toothbrush

This is something that has been a problem for me for a very long time. I would greatly appreciate your support as I share this, very serious and life damaging issue. Thank You for your acceptance…

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The Dawn Of Pockets

Here at Apparently I’m Funny we like to save words… When I say “we”, this really means just me. There is nobody else here… When I say “save words”, I mean increasing word efficiency.The previous post of this nature was all about saving time by expressing dates. The last post was very good, but now it’s time to up the ante… Today’s shit… is some good shit…

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I Work In A Manhattan Nursery!

I just woke up from a nap. Nothing special so far. I’m sure a lot of people wake up from naps every day. When I nap, I seem to get a lot more dreams than when I sleep. I don’t know why, but I’m just going to list some words that could be associated with the answer: zen, cosmic rays, drugs, sun, phone, microwaves, the government, chemtrails, processed food, Jesus, mind control and the conservatives.

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What I Want

Some lizards have long tongues. The long tongues are used for shooting ahead of themselves and catching bugs mid air… I’ve been thinking about this lately and I’ve decided that I would like to have one of those tongues.Read More »